Why no one should EVER have kids:

When you're pregnant you gain like 600 lbs.

Giving birth will hurt

You have to get up at like 6 AM because they do

They're always too heavy to hold and your arm hurts for like 3 weeks after you pick one up

When you're holding them..if you sit down they scream. So you have to walk around the entire time youre with them

You have to buy them stuff

When you go out to eat, they always want chicken nuggets and they only eat one.

They always scream when you go out to eat and you can't even enjoy your 20 dollar meal because you have to worry about them.

They like milk.

They always have ketchup all over their faces

They drool

They want everything. Like stupid little bracelets that they will wear once.

You have to clean up alllllll the fucking messes they make

You have to pay for their school fees.

You have to pay for their fines when they get older if they get a speeding ticket or something.

They always wear jeans with elastic bands. Not zippers or buttons… elastic bands.

They try to be funny and when someone laughs theyre like "WHAT??? J"

They always wanna play kick ball and play outside.

They always wanna change out of their pajamas in the morning.

You cant go on vacation because theyd have to come

When you go on vacation EVERYTHING revolves around them

You cant go anywhere alone unless you hire a babysitter, which costs 100 dollars

They always want to jump on you or sit on your lap

They never go to bed

They don't care that its like 7 AM.. they still want to run, jump, and skip around the house

They get out all of their toys at once and then do something else

They always want to make tents

*circus music*